it's going to be 3 years in  April since I call USA home  and its been a journey of many firsts, but one thing for sure is its explored and expounded on my idea of identity ,belonging and community.

I have been so fortunate to learn so much about myself , society and history. because now I am not just any guy. I am a black man ( among other things ) not that I wasn't one before, but it wasn't an area of discussion.not until i moved. on my many discoveries I quickly had to learn that Black joy must be front and centre of black history. because why is it that when we speak of the black experience its always the injustices the black community faces. How about the amazing record education levels of black women or the everlasting impact black folk have on music, fashion and dance all through the world.

I have since refused to be a vessel of such sorrow. as we continue to acknowledge the resilience of those before us I will dwell in their success and triumph, and this, I found out , I don't even have to do much. by showing up to my job. Dressed in my polished moccasins , that alone is a sign of triumph . for there was a time where people like me where not given opportunity to exercise the duties I casually do on a daily. When I show up to school, I remember to enjoy it. the idea of knowing alone is fascinating to me but that we had to remind the world that we belonged there.....

" when even just your existence is resistance " 

my love for art drove me to some discoveries this week. ,I have always been a great fan of jolie, her acting... I always bought that DVD if I knew she was in a movie (I cant tell you how many times I have watched salt ) but something kept me even longer, her humanitarianism. now we have had our fair share of celebrity philanthropists but it always feels like an endorsement, a tax write off if you will. they were never on ground, their voices never heard not jolie and I loved that about her. so when she launched Atelier Jolie in 2023 I was front and centre

. initially it was fronted as a clothing line and as a fashion enthusiast I was ready to see what was to come, base in NYC that was already destined for success...its lots of young talent in their plus its birthed all of my favorite American brands... Ralph Lauren , laquan smith and telfar to name a few. its been a few years since its launch and I have always followed along wanting and wishing to pass by and maybe see or even buy ...but it has grown into more than just clothing. its a creative hub where art comes to life, sealed with a CAFE brought together by the top NYC refugee and immigrant chefs. it was just a matter of time until I turned up...that was until the 21st this week. I recently found out that there are activities in the studio, teaching drawing, bead work , embroidery its amazing so I booked myself a slot for the observational drawing Workshop. the catch, well I have never been one to draw. I have always considered myself a consumer of art rather than a creator because of that. so much so that whenever a friend of mine who knew that I was taking sewing classes mentioned that I could be a fashion designer I rubbed it off. I didn't know how to draw.. I just love good work, now I can analyse it better because I knew stitches and fabric.. but here I am on a Wednesday evening, after spending the afternoon at the museum of modern art ready with a tote, heading to an art class at my faves creative space. I did take a Lyft because I thought I would be late , the email stressed that the materials needed would be provided but it also said to come early so as to avoid missing any important communications. 15 minutes later I was at the door, the space closes at 6 pm for normal business,it was 10 minutes past 6 so I had to tell this tall gentleman my name and after a few swipes on his iPad confirming my booking I was in. beautiful, splendid the space was, I tried to sneak a few pics while saying my hellos . quickly we sat and we where handed our materials. soon our instructor introduced themself and we were in. I was honestly surprised by how easy he made the instructions, I was drawing ( not the best out of the bunch but heyyy). and so we drew ,and drew and drew and each time I got familiar with the material, my neighbour an event planner said she was used to drawing with water colors so this was new to her too. we ended the section about two hours later, everyone reviewing the others work, interacting and actually booking some other events at the same studio.. it was amazing. I loved that in that time my mind was only consumed by creating art, heart calm and nerves at ease 10/10 would recommend. I truly wished I had come before the store closed so I would browse the garments but I will take what I can have. Ended the day by rushing to the subway and then grabbing some amazing food down at a small Arabic restaurant. 

Its nothing quite like an airport rush,i have never brought myself to really decide if i hate or love it. my anxiety is always through the roof, always checking to make sure my passport didnt develope wings and fly out of my bag . But after being fortunate enough to travel a couple of times in recent months after a long hiatus .. ( i trully believe my passport forgot i exist it had been 2 yearts ) i had to develope habits to put me at ease while i prepare, during and after the flight. if you are a first time flyer or really just a nervous wreck like me here are a few things i alsways do and pack to feel somewhat secure miles above sea level. 1.get some comfortable shoes, i love boots down but everywhen i wear a pair to the airpot i have to pass through TSA twice, and i they feel very heavy after my commute (i am always trying to save some luggage space by wearing the heavy things..... ). i have found switching it up for more comfy shoes soooo helpful. 

wilst re arranging my closet, i came across a binder of mine with some old documents. among them was an old "book" i had written. about 100 words max, terrrible punctuation and no context. the title of the book? " i love my parents and family very much " , yah i know... given the know how on literature that i posses today it would score a -3 / 10 but this was from 2013 back in primary school when i thought i was an author and a business mogul. the contents of that "book" are what stood out for me and compelled me to write this months piece ( i miss you guys btw ) in the book i wrote of the bank i thought i owned back then during play time and it triggered discussions on finances and how i have always been curious on the matter. finances are a very delicate issue that we all must come to contact with bringing about terms like savings, budgets, investments and the like . and today i would love to share a few tips that help me stay afloat on the above mentioned. 

As i listen to my ugandan music in my studio apartment i cant help but wonder, we really are the new adults.just yesterday i got to celebrate my 23rd. thank ful as always... i have grown to be what my youngerself always admired across, school ,career and just social life. how fast time flies. and ofcourse i missed you guys. how have you been? its been a while since we last checked it but you know i love you , we go way back. so grab your tea and biscuits and lets dive into 23 lessons i have caught up with over the past 23 years in no particular order ofcource; 23. the bad news is everything is temporary, the good news is everything is temporary. 22. just because it is good doesnt mean it is good for you. 21.listen to what they say, but always watch what they do 20. it always gets better, you just have to sit back and acknowledge. 19.how you treat yourself sets the tone for how society treats you. 18. any change you need is going to start with you 17. if they wanted to they would 16. always remember to stay hydrated, always 15.a person that masters their finances and sexual morality is unstoppable 14. its ok to change your mind on issues once you recieve new information 13.what ever you give importance gains importance. be careful what you fixate on 12.kindness is free, always extend it 11. always know when to leave, the party, the relation , the job anything 10.looks are infact important, when you feel good, you always perfome better. always invest in them 9.be loud about love and the ones you love because hate is always loud 8. always remember why you started 7.always set time aside to enjoy your life because calamity will always set time for itself. 6.forgive yourself for whatever past decisions you made 5.that job can and will replace you whenever they feel like, hr is not your friend. just do your job and clock out,nothing more. 4.travel, as far as you can, as much as you can 3. take pictures and record all your memories, you never know 2.be mindful of your mental health, always take time to improve it 1. no one has lived with you longer than you,put yourself first,be kind to you,spend on you. i hope one of the above speakes to you, until we meet again, stay safe xoxo collin. { picture is of nails done by tabbbachka on instagram and belong to me} disclaimer: all opinions expressed above are mine and not professional help. one is advised to seek any professional help if needed.

The warm weather is upon us and i already have all these trips and concerts lined up , outfits planned and no budget to show of it. but trust i am not new to the redeo we will get there and a time will sure be had. speaking of concerts, many of us always anticipate an outside summer. a summer where we go clubbing, raving, road trips and all those fun things we could not do in the cold but often times we end up just staying home . not that it is not fun to stay home but going out and experiencing the world and putting all your senses to the test is something i recommend we all do often. But because of lack of friends , funds or just motivation keeps us behind closed doors and i am here to share how best we can navigate that. About a year ago i had just gotten my first apartment, i was admitted to a college i loved and doing a job i adored. But i felt like i was missing something. I had always been a party person, i love a good groove and being among happy people. But where was i to start? i was in this big metropolitan city with no friends ands my google maps skills still needed polishing. I needed someone to show me where and when to go to have fun. Luckily a co worker of mine at the invited out for drinks with their boyfriend and i told them how i had never been out and that i did not know my way around the night life. They ended up spending the night showing me around and giving me the basics and just as i thought they would become my new hangout buddies, they told me how it was their last day in the city and that they where moving back to their home town. A week went by and I had to make the decision, was i going to go and try having fun by myself following the few testaments i was given or was i going to sit in my apartment and wait for a group of cool friends to come blasting music in a nissan altima to pick me up magically? So i did what any young adult with their own money and will power would do, got on my cloths and headed to the club..and here are the few lessons i picked on how to party by yourself. 1. know when to leave, you do not want to be out till the very end because it gets harder and more expensive to grab an uber and people get roudy. leave 30 minutes to an hour before. 2. do not drive to a rave, yes leave your lovely car home. not only is the parking at partys sooo shady and expensive you also have to not drink at all if you have to drive home safely. 3. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE 4.Never let your drink out of your sight,each and every one is there for a different reason, do not trust anyone your drink should be in your hand at all time. 5. DO NOT TAKE DRINKS FROM STRANGERS, if someone wants to buy you a drink let them pay at the counter 6. make sure your phone is charged before you leave home for the club.you need to be able to use it incase of something. 7. make sure someone has your location, in mycase it was my friends thousands of miles away but atleast someone knew my whereabouts 8.always have some extra money. bonus points if its in cash 9.make some friends , is alot of people that are in the clubs by themselves. 10. dont share any personal information with anyone.. you dont have to give anyone your number or name create an allaby. 11. have fun

Hey gorgeous, did you miss me? because i sure did miss yall. its been a while since we sat down for a chat but no worries  those of us that have connected over on tiktok have seen that i have been trying with my vlogs over there. i strongly believe every creative gets that time when they start to re think their work and for me its been the past couple of months. that mixed with the blues of being and immigrant,juggling school and work.... boy it got to me but with the current state of affairs (cough cough ) i am a strong believer that we have to be grounded in community , love and self as a form of rebellion soo here i am back to my roots.... and i will not keep boring you with the obvious, so let us dive right into it. living alone is exciting as it is terrifying.... the idea of having your own space filled with plants and fragrance sounds like a dream but the reality of being by yourself is nerve wrecking so how do you strike a balance ( of sorts). its officially been a year and some days since i moved into my apartment , i remember the day like it was yesterday . i had spent way to much time online looking and on ground touring apartments looking for my next home. i remember getting a warning from my job as i would come in late because i scheduled my tours right before work. one of the greatest things about living on your own is the idea of individuality.because now everything in your place reflects you and your interests. you can tell from the rugs and china the kind of person your host is. it is also important to note that your tastes will change from now and then so you dont have to have it all figured out but below are a few chit codes for a smooth ride.

If there is a skill I should have mastered sooner it should have been living in the moment. Taking everything in enjoying ,grieving everything. 

Where do I even start, with two jobs and school my life went from 100 to negatives, its scary how you don't even notice yourself change. I haven't watched a movie in soo long, not read a novel, nor have I updated my journal..jees the last time I wrote here was in January. 

Bet we have all seen all those aesthetic videos of people taking care of their skin... and we all want in..but where do you start?  Is it for everyone?  What products should I get and from where?